Little spoons don't ask big questions
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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