Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize