how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
