I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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