Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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