They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
