I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
