i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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