MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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