He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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