I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
