I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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