It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
