Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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