is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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