I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
