If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
