Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
