New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
