check it out our google latitudes are spooning
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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