South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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