So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
