Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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