Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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