i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
