party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
