There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
