Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
