so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
