Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
