Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
