All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
