Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
