I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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