i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
