I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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