Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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