I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
