My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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