he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm like, not good at living.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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