so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
