just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Shame - the story of my life.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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