I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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