the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
