can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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