Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
