Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
