uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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