forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
