were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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