5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
